Proving that your spouse has cheated will not increase your alimony in most New Jersey divorces. It rarely changes the way property is divided, and it almost never affects custody. New Jersey courts treat alimony as a financial remedy, not a moral judgment. This surprises most people who come in for their first consultation with screenshotted evidence and hotel receipts already in hand.
Adultery Is Still a Valid Ground for Divorce
Adultery appears first on the list of grounds for fault in N.J.S.A. 2A:34-2. It has remained on the books and you can still file for it in 2026.
Almost nobody does. Since the 2007 amendment added irreconcilable differences as a ground for no-fault divorce in Hudson County, that ground has become standard in the filing process across the state. The requirements are that the differences must have existed for at least six months without any reasonable prospect of reconciliation. Adultery has one narrow procedural advantage: the one-year residency requirement usually applies, but it does not apply to spouses who recently moved to New Jersey, so they can file sooner.
Filing on Adultery Means Naming the Other Person
Court Rule 5:4-2 requires the pleading to identify the co-respondent by name if the name is known. If it is not known, the complaint must include any information describing that person, as well as the time, place, and circumstances of the conduct.
The co-respondent then receives notice and has the right to appear at the hearing. A private matter becomes a public record with a third party attached.
Alimony Turns on Finances, Not Fidelity
The 14 factors that a judge considers are listed in N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23. Faithfulness is not one of them. Judges consider need and ability to pay, length of marriage, standard of living, each spouse’s earning capacity, time away from work, and parental obligations.
In Mani v. Mani, the New Jersey Supreme Court ruled that marital fault is not relevant in alimony decisions, except in two specific situations:
- When the fault has changed the economic circumstances of the couple.
- When the conduct was so egregious that society would not tolerate a continued financial bond between the spouses. Courts have found this to be the case in cases involving attempted murder or large-scale theft by a spouse (not just affairs).
An affair alone does not meet either of these criteria. New Jersey courts have stated this explicitly, including in cases where adultery was admitted by the parties.
Where Cheating Can Actually Change the Numbers
Money spent on an affair is a complex issue that requires careful consideration. If marital funds were used to support the relationship, this spending can be seen as a dissipation of marital assets and should be taken into account in the equitable distribution of assets. Some examples of expenses that might be relevant include:
- Second apartments or hotel stays paid for from joint accounts
- Gifts, travel, and vehicles purchased for the other person
- Retirement or investment accounts that were drained during the time of the affair, which is especially significant because the loss can compound over time
- Business income that was routed away from the marital estate
You need records to make that argument. Bank statements, card activity, and account histories from the relevant months carry far more weight than text messages.
Custody Follows the Child, Not the Affair
Custody decisions are based on the best interests of the child, as defined by N.J.S.A. 9:2-4. The court considers a parent’s affairs only when they affect the children, for example, unsafe supervision, exposure to violence, or absences disrupting the parenting schedule. Otherwise, the court has no interest in the matter.
Talk to a Divorce Attorney Before You File
Before you decide how to proceed, get a clear understanding of whether the facts you have are worth pursuing and what they will actually change. This conversation is worth having early, because it is easier to obtain the financial records that you need before the case starts.
Carvajal Law has been helping families for over a decade with divorce, custody, and alimony issues. If you are facing any of these challenges, contact us today to schedule a free consultation.