Yes, a child’s preference can affect custody in New Jersey. They cannot decide for themselves. There is no age when a child suddenly gets to choose and a judge can rule against what the child wants. However, since January 2026, if a judge does this, they must explain why in writing.
New Jersey Looks at Maturity, Not a Set Age
Under N.J.S.A 9:2-4, judges take into account the preferences of the child if the child is old enough and has the capacity to make an informed decision. The law does not specify an age.
To determine how much weight a child’s words deserve, judges typically consider:
- The child’s age and level of maturity
- Whether the reasons given hold up, as “Dad lets me stay up late” may not be the same as “I want to stay at school”
- How consistent the child’s behavior has been over time, and if their words sound like something they would say or something a parent would say
- If the wording used by the child sounds like something they or a parent would use
What the 2026 Custody Law Changed
On January 20, 2026, New Jersey amended its custody law. Several changes have given children’s voices more formal representation in the process.
- The statute now establishes a public policy that the expressed preferences of a child are taken into account in custody decisions.
- If the court orders an arrangement that is contrary to the child’s expressed wishes, it must clearly state in the record the reasons for the decision and the factors that led to it.
- Child safety is now a crucial consideration in every custody case.
- When a child resists contact with a parent, the court may not order a reunification program without both parties’ agreement and a determination that the child is old enough. In such a situation, a child who is old enough and requests to speak with the judge will have a private meeting in the judge’s chambers, and the records will be sealed.
The preference is still a factor among many. Your child does not have a veto.
How Judges Hear From Children
Children rarely testify in open court. Under New Jersey Court Rule 5:8-6, the judge may interview the child privately in chambers either on his or her own motion or at the request of a parent.
A few things to note:
- The interview is optional. If a judge declines, they must provide written reasons.
- Lawyers can submit questions for the judge to ask.
- The entire interview is recorded and transcripts are available upon request to counsel and parties.
- Neither parent can discuss or reveal any information discussed during the interview with the children or others without court permission.
The court can also appoint a guardian ad litem or an attorney to represent the child’s interests.
Coaching a Child Can Backfire
Judges often hear from children. Most can tell when a child is repeating an adult’s script.
Pressuring a child to choose a side, promising rewards, or sharing details of the case with them can harm the parent who does this. Several custody factors consider parental behavior directly, including the ability of the parents to cooperate and any history of unwillingness to allow parental time.
What helps instead is being quieter. Keeping routines steady, keeping adult conflict away from your child, and letting them speak freely when the court asks.
Older Children and Moving Out of State
Preference matters in relocation cases too. Under N.J.S.A. 9:2-2, children who were born in New Jersey or have lived here for five years may not be removed from the court’s jurisdiction without their own consent, unless the court orders otherwise for a good reason. For younger children, both parents must agree, or the court must approve the move.
Give Your Child a Voice Without Putting Them in the Middle
Your child’s wishes deserve to be heard. They also deserve protection from conflict. Handling both requires knowing when to request an interview, how to present your child’s needs, and how 2026 changes apply to your situation.
At Carvajal Law, we understand how sensitive custody matters are and we bring a personal touch to every family we represent. Contact us today to schedule a free consultation and discuss the best course of action for you and your child.