woman holds a child's hands in her hands

Any New Jersey custody case can be emotionally charged. But what happens when the child prefers one parent over the other? Can a child choose which parent to live with in NJ? 

Unfortunately, you might hear conflicting answers from friends, family, and social media. As a result, the truth gets lost in the noise. 

Custody decisions are based on what the court believes is in the child’s best interests, not only on where the child says they want to live.

Here’s what New Jersey law actually says, and how it could play out in your custody case.

The Child Does Not Have an Automatic Right to Choose

In New Jersey, children do not have the legal authority to decide which parent they will live with while they are minors. Until a child turns 18, custody decisions are under the court’s authority.

That means a child cannot change a custody arrangement, refuse to visit a parent, or pick one parent over the other. 

Is a Child’s Preference Taken Into Consideration?

Yes, but there are limits. The courts may consider a child’s preference if they are mature enough to form an intelligent opinion.

There is no fixed age written into the law. In these cases, judges look at the individual child and the reasoning behind their preference.

A thoughtful, well-reasoned explanation from a teenager may carry more weight than a younger child’s opinion. But even older teens do not have final say. The child’s preference is just one factor in many the court evaluates.

How Judges Hear a Child’s Wishes

Judges avoid putting children in the middle of custody disputes. Most children do not testify in open court. A judge may:

  • Speak privately with the child in chambers
  • Rely on a custody evaluator, therapist, or guardian ad litem
  • Review reports summarizing the child’s wishes and emotional state

This process helps protect children from pressure and prevents them from feeling responsible for the outcome.

What Are the Best Interests of the Child Standard?

Every custody decision is guided by one principle: the best interests of the child. When evaluating custody, courts consider a wide range of factors, including:

  • Each parent’s ability to provide a safe and stable environment
  • The child’s relationship with each parent
  • The parents’ ability to cooperate and communicate
  • The child’s educational, emotional, and physical needs
  • Stability of the home, school, and community
  • Any history of domestic violence or substance abuse
  • The child’s preference, if appropriate

If a preference conflicts with the child’s safety, stability, or long-term well-being, the court may give it little or no weight.

What If a Child’s Preference Changes?

As children grow older, their needs and circumstances change. In these situations, the custody order can be modified if there has been a substantial change in circumstances. A few examples may include:

  • A child’s increasing maturity
  • Changes in school or social needs
  • A parent’s relocation
  • New concerns about stability or safety

No matter the circumstances, the court must still determine whether a change in custody serves the child’s best interests.

family figures and judge gavel

Why These Cases Require Professional Legal Help

Custody disputes involving children’s preferences are emotionally charged. Some parents may pressure a child to choose sides. In turn, that can unintentionally harm their case and their child. Judges know the signs of manipulation or coaching. And that can negatively affect a case. 

Working with an experienced New Jersey child custody lawyer will make sure that a child’s voice is presented in the proper way. They can do this without placing emotional strain on the child or jeopardizing the case.

Child Custody Cases Need Experienced Legal Counsel 

Can a child choose which parent to live with in NJ? Not necessarily, but their voice is not ignored. Courts listen carefully, evaluate maturity, and weigh preferences along with many other factors. However, every custody decision is determined in what will best support the child’s safety, stability, and long-term well-being.

If you’re facing a custody issue and wondering how your child’s wishes may affect the outcome, Carvajal Law can help. We can help you move through the process with your child’s best interests at heart. Schedule a consultation today to learn more.

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